why? i just want to know why..

i just want to know why..
why do you do things that you do..?
why do you need to break my heart so many times?
why you said you love me?
why i still love you after so many heart breaks?
why i can't trust you but love you so much?
why i can't leave you?
why i can still forgive you after so many aches?
why i cant stop this tear from flowing?

I want a soul mate and companian.. but I've compromised.. i can only get a friend.. a best friend.. so i have been patience..

i've sacrificed alot.. but still love doing that.. i give my life for him.. if that what it takes to love him so dearly.. oh my heart..

Ya Allah, please tell me what to do!