Wordless Tuesday...

Oh my Heart!

I'm mending my heart.. my broken heart.. it was broken once and now it broke again.. i need to reattached the broken pieces and super-glued it again..

it was silly.. i broke my own promises and there it was.. all the previous mended pieces become torn apart again.. like an old wound bleed again.. and now I need to mend it again..

Oh silly me.. how could I let it broke again.. after so much agonizing pain and suffer I heal it and now I let it bleed again.. Oh my poor heart!

My broken heart led to my senseless mind.. I become deluded and demented (not particularly insane if I may say so my self).. I wish I could do something to end this tormented heart and mind.. oh my life!

AKU STRESS!!!

Weeeiiiiihhh.. Lemaih perut.. aku senak hati.. jantung gegar-gegar.. tatau nak nangis ke nak gelak.. aiissshhhhhh

15 years and still missing you.. alot!

yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my father's demise.. aku dah banyak kali tulis pasal ayah.. aku rasa kalau mak aku baca blog mesti dia jeles.. hehe

so.. aku tak nak sedih-sedih.. dan memandangkan ini bulan Ramadhan dan nak hampir raya.. aku nak ingat semua benda tentang ayah di bulan yang mulia ini.. kenangan bersama ayah laa..

sahur
ayah memang ditugaskan untuk kejut kitorang bangun sahur.. kalau mak, dia pakai jerit je dari dapor.. kot mana dan orang utara kata.. kalau bang chiq, ayah memang dukung dia.. dudukkan depan pinggan nasi.. hehe. ayah sahur kurang makan nasi.. dia suka kueh-mueh.. kalau ada belen-belen kueh waktu bebuke, itu je la yang dia makan.. tapi kitorang dia paksa makan  nasi..

buka
ayah suka berbuka dengan kueh manis.. kueh cara, kueh sampan, pulut kaya dan lain-lain laa kueh manis.. tapi kalau lauk pulak dia suka yang masam-masam.. macam ikan mayong masak cuka.. perrghhh.. memang tangkap leleh tengok ayah makan.. pajeri nenas pon kegemaran ayah..

ayah suka layan kitorang malam-malam 7 likur ni.. pasang panjut.. kitorang takde la beli mercun sebab ayah kata membazir..  main je laa api daun kelapa..

aku rindu sangat-sangat kat dia..

Lambat naik.. tapi senang turun

Ini entry memuja diri.. hehehe.. jika rasa senggugut lepas baca.. I tatau! I Tatau! I Tatau!

Berbulan-bulan masa aku amik nak bagi berat aku naik.. ari tu sebelum puasa.. seminggu sebelum puasa.. ngam-ngam 56 kg.. weheee!! berat ideal tu.. seksi disane sini.. at least ade isi disane sini.. tulang temulang semua bejaya disembunyi.. nak naik dari 6 kg tu amik masa 6 bulan tauu..

ni dah masuk suku ke 3 ramadhan.. berat aku rasanya makin berkurang.. sebab aku dah bleh rasa tulang aku balik.. dada dah kurang penuh..(sob..sob..sob!) ape kes ni? baju dan sluar baru beli dah longgar.. aiseh.. tapi tak boleh nak marah la kan.. sendiri salah.. kurang makan.. waktu berbuke makan ala kadar.. sahur cuma air jarang (a.k.a air sejuk).. so mane tak turunnye dengan mencanak.. dah laa aku pegi balik keje naik pengangkutan awam.. jalan kaki lagi.. kemas rumah lagi.. marah anak lagi.. wahaha.. semua pakai tenaga.. makanya dah susut semula..

aku still batuk-batuk.. ni batuk fisiologi ke psikologi ke aku pon tak tau.. memang aku tengah susah hati tapi takde la runtun sangat pon.. dah alah bisa tegal biasa orang kata.. so ape masalah lagi kan? kalau dah penyakit nak dtg, terima je laa..

yang pentingnye.. raya ni aku masih bleh pakai baju saiz S.. wehuuuu!!

Ignorance is a bliss (if you are happen to be in my shoe)

Ignorance is a bliss.. things you don't know won't hurt you right? So if you are happen to be in my shoe, better you do not know anything or as little as possible so that you won't end up feeling depressed.

For those who do not know my whole story, just accept this as a fact of life.. some body told me that mothers know best.. so.. I'm a mother. please please accept this humble advice.. the less you know, the better.. and of course curiosity kills the cat.. also true.. if you are not ready to face the truth.. don't poke it! Sarang tebuan jangan dijolok.. takut bengkak satu badan.. worst case, ICU. if you are lucky, you died.

for those who know me and my story.. just take this with a pinch of salt.. It is not as bad or as good as you think.. I'm just doing my very best to be His servant.. I take this as part of my Ujian Prestasi Iman dan Takwa.. if there is such exam exist.. 

I think my blog should be renamed.. this is totally rambling about my hearts and feelings.. i do not share anything specific.. nor any interesting things such as hobby.. this is where i rambled all about my troubles, sadness and 1001 emotions that I faced each day..

Damnn! I'm resorting to talking to empty spaces than talking to actual person.. I must be demented or something..